Posted 2 years ago Last post 2 years ago by The404Error
The Best User and Second Sexiest Male™
So today, I accidentally woke up around 12 in the afternoon. I got a very late brunch. I worked for a long time on homework I hadn't yet finished for this week. I didn't really think about doing much of anything else. I looked at the clock when I finished and it said "7". I was like "F***", because that means all of the dining halls on campus are closed on Sunday. The buses don't operate on Sundays, I don't have a car or bike, I have $2, not enough to order pizza or anything for delivery. That means I have no dinner, and I had only eaten one meal for the entire day, and it wasn't a big one, either.
So I take my $2 and I tell myself "I can at least get something at the laundry room vending machine. Just cause I'm starving tonight doesn't mean I'm going to die of thirst." So I walk down 4 flights of stairs, uphill for 5 minutes and get to the closest laundry room. So I put in my $2 ($1.50 drinks) and I push the button for Sprite. Nothing comes out. I push the button for Pepsi, and nothing comes out. I push every single button, same deal. I push the coin return button, and it gives me a quarter back, because it doesn't have enough. So I'm fucking pissed at this machine, enraged and insane from not eating, and I start banging on the machine - kicking it, trying to get something. At one point, this chick comes in to see me practically humping the machine.
I leave embarrassed, back to the room with a fucking quarter. I'm starving and now tired from walking around. I open the door to my dorm room and collapse on my bed, stomach hurting like hell. I remember, about 1-2 weeks ago, I purchased different kinds of products to keep myself healthy and active. But the main thing was, I purchased a bunch of caffeine tablets online. I did it for two reasons. 1. I don't have a coffeemaker in my dorm room, and 2. Sometimes I need that extra little boost in the morning. I didn't know how many came in the "bulk pack". I was amazed that each container has around 75 pieces, I got around 8 of them in bulk. The total cost me $20, and I saved around $15 if I had bought them individually. I trusted myself to use them only in emergencies, like when I woke up with 10 minutes to get to class.
I said, you know, what the hell, it's better than eating nothing. So I take a handful of them. They had a blueberry soda-like taste to them. So I was all like... "Hey, I haven't checked out what's in these things!" So I turn to the back of the canister, and I start reading the ingredients "Sugar, Dextrose, Citric Acid, Caffeine..." Nothing unusual. Then I see a big warning label that says this: "WARNING: Due to the concentrated levels of caffeine and guarana inside this product, it is dangerous and extremely unadvised to take more than the serving size. Do not take more than 4 tablets pet day." My heart sorta sunk there.
So I spill the rest of the can onto a paper towel on my desk, I'm starting to feel the buzz already. I start counting the tablets leftover. I counted 53. That means I took 22. 5 1/2 times the recommended serving size. I shouted "F***" so loud I almost woke up a number of dormmates.
So I'm struggling to think of something to do. I need to get some of it out of my body by any means necessary. And then I remember my emergency kit inside my bed that I had made for my First Aid class. I rummage through it and get to the poison control kit. I come across a bottle of Ipecac syrup. I rush to the bathroom and take a large dose. Within minutes, I'm at the edge of the toilet, throwing up into the bowl. My hands are shaking still, my body continuing to feel the effects of the already digested tablets. My throat is burning, and my stomach is empty. I feel like throwing up more, but I simply can't. I have to take a swig of water, so I go to get some tap water. I drink it, and within minutes, I spit it out.
My body still feels like crap. So I go back to my emergency kit and grab a bottle of Pepto Bismol. I take some... but then, wouldn't you know it? I now feel that I have to throw up that little bit of Pepto Bismol. So I rush back into the bathroom, and lean over the toilet seat, and out of nowhere, one of the girls from across the hall walks into the bathroom, in her pajamas to brush her teeth. She says "Hi" to me, and stupidly I look over at her, mouth dripping with water and vomit, sweat all over my face. Out of nowhere, I just throw up again, right on the tile floor, in front of her face. And it's all Pepto Bismol, so it's pure pink, and it dripped out for seconds after I gagged. She shrieks and runs out of the bathroom.
So I wash my mouth out with water, not swallowing any, went back to my room, took my shirt off and put an icepack on my head. Then I typed this. It took me almost an hour, with spell check.
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