Why is it that the one time I start to like someone, and like them for a long time, I get rejected....

...even after the 2 divorces I've had to go through, the 4 moves, the OCD, Depression, Anxiety, ADD that I have; being with a verbally abusive stepmother, being hospitalized twice for my depression, seeing my dad go to jail due to custody violations, seeing my mom go through a nervous breakdown, being through a nervous breakdown, failing school, losing a grip on fucking reality...

WHY WOULD GOD DO THIS TO ME
AM I CURSED OR SOMETHING?
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?

Something clearly is for this to happen
3.5 years of feelings down the drain
$400 down the drain in gifts
GPA down the drain trying to spend time with this person and not on school
Countless items given away to this person down the drain
My next paycheck down the drain as well on trying to please this person

and finally....

My heart down the drain